Hi friends, I have not been very good about updating here lately, I must say my new addiction is Facebook, worse then candy or fast food that website I'm telling ya, lol.Anyhow I was reading the new issue of US magazine earlier about how Jennifer Love Hewitt called off her wedding and part of it was because of body insecurities, Usually I look of celebs and think they have it all, beauty, wealth, a great lifestyle , but reading the article about Jennifer made me stop and think, I look at her and see a beautiful woman, but man who would think that she was insecure with herself ? I would'nt, I admit I eat to mask emotional issues and food can be a great comfort right ? It ca'nt call you names or make you feel bad, it's always there.
When I was growing up I was always made fun of by my father and it made me grow up to be very insecure and unsure of myself, I feel at times like I am never good enough or pretty enough and it sucks.I'll share a secret with you all, after my dad passed away it was his stepkids that went and scattered his ashes, not me and my brother.I feel again like I was'nt good enough to be there for that, but who knows ? Maybe his last wishes were for them to scatter his ashes, I'll never know I guess, I was in Sequoia National Park the day he died, but seriously I never really did feel like he ever loved me, sure we made up before he passed away and everything , but that uncomfortable tension still lingered in the air, I read years ago that Jennifer Love Hewitt's dad walked out of her life years ago too, I feel for her knowing that , I really am touched when I read about fathers who are always there for thier kids and would do anything for them, sometimes I wish I could have known what that was like, I am a work in progress , but I try to be the best person I can be and love others without judgement and accept them for who they are, thanks for listening to my rant, I love you all Lisa XOXOXO