Friday, January 23, 2009

Boy can I relate !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi friends, I have not been very good about updating here lately, I must say my new addiction is Facebook, worse then candy or fast food that website I'm telling ya, lol.Anyhow I was reading the new issue of US magazine earlier about how Jennifer Love Hewitt called off her wedding and part of it was because of body insecurities, Usually I look of celebs and think they have it all, beauty, wealth, a great lifestyle , but reading the article about Jennifer made me stop and think, I look at her and see a beautiful woman, but man who would think that she was insecure with herself ? I would'nt, I admit I eat to mask emotional issues and food can be a great comfort right ? It ca'nt call you names or make you feel bad, it's always there.

When I was growing up I was always made fun of by my father and it made me grow up to be very insecure and unsure of myself, I feel at times like I am never good enough or pretty enough and it sucks.I'll share a secret with you all, after my dad passed away it was his stepkids that went and scattered his ashes, not me and my brother.I feel again like I was'nt good enough to  be there for that, but who knows ? Maybe his last wishes were for them to scatter his ashes, I'll never know I guess, I was in Sequoia National Park the day he died, but seriously I never really did feel like he ever loved me, sure we made up before he passed away and everything , but that uncomfortable tension still lingered in the air, I read years ago that Jennifer Love Hewitt's dad walked out of her life years ago too, I feel for her knowing that , I really am touched when I read about fathers who are always there for thier kids and would do anything for them, sometimes I wish I could have known what that was like, I am a work in progress , but I try to be the best person I can be and love others without judgement and accept them for who they are, thanks for listening to my rant, I love you all Lisa XOXOXO


Monica said...

It's such a shame how many brides I meet who are stressing about body insecurities instead of enjoying their day and celebrating their love.

I'm not without my own securities, however, I have learned my husband asked me to marry him because he loved me, the person I am not for the body/shell that I have.

As for facebook, I signed up but still haven't figured out the big deal about it! Maybe I need to go explore it more?


Chrissie said...

JLH has nothing to worry about she is very pretty and tiny in real life. The press beat her up back in the summer over some bathing suit she was wearing. I mean come on I'd love to see what these guys that are taking the pics look like because what I've seen on tv they are gross and have a lot of nerve saying someone else is ugly and fat.
As for you my dear you are a beautiful person inside and out. Honestly I believe inside beauty is the best because if you don't have that even a gorgeous person will come across ugly for their actions.
I'm sorry about your father and honestly he didn't deserve to have you worry about him. That may sound rude on my side, but you were a way better person without him in your life.
Hugs, Chrissie

IndigoSunMoon said...

We all have our own insecurities. One of mine is the horrible stretch marks left by my pregnancy. I had a ten pound, eight ounce baby, and it did a number on my belly.
To are beautiful, inside and out.

Teresa said...

I think you are beautiful Lisa :) JLH is almost "spiritually" beautiful, kind of almost in the Madonna like sense.
Your heart is a wonderful thing and it's full of love for people. I know for myself I'm very grateful for your friendship and for who you are.

Blessings, Teresa

lisa jo said...

having shitty parents truly does a number on a child that often doesn't show up completely till the kid is grown. You are the most beautiful person i have ever known..inside and out. I pray you do not hold guilt or sadness due to not being there when your dads ashes were stattered. The positive thing is that you two made up....even if there was tension you WERE able to say goodbye in your own way. He kinda sucked as a dad and HE was the one that was WRONG, not you. YOU are pure gold.

Joyce said...

I see a beautiful person in the photo on your sidebar...and as for the stars...yes, they are human too...they have their issues like we all do. It is good when one of them or all, if possible, can open up and let us in on their fears. So sad as I read about you not being a part of your Dad's ashes being unfair. Hope you do have a good weeken...enjoy...hugs and love,

mortonlake said...

lisa,ive got several friends who have similar deeply ashamed to say,its 99%of the time caused by men.facebook addictive?? no,tut.OWNED is tried my farm?its brilliant,slidewall, you take care,love mort xx

Lisa said...

Jennifer is a beautiful woman whom I respect and admire quite a bit. I felt so sorry for her when the media went on their big spree about how fat she was and came up with all the ugly names relating to her eating too much.

So then this year on GW she comes back looking pencil thin. She let it get to her, not that I fault her by any means, but the pressure must have really gotten to her. She has said she was okay with her figure, it's a shame they hurt her so much she was forced to lose weight.

We all have issues. Some turn to food others drugs or booze...none of us are perfect. I have huge issues since I grew up without my father. I may hide it well but there are alot of deep rooted insecurities in me. You are not alone.

pam said...

I think your last sentence of your post sums up who you have turned out to be. You are a good person living a good life. I only wish more people could say the same thing.

Take care!

Janie said...

Sorry Lisa that you feel that way. I have always been some what insecure of the way I look and etc. too. I only had 1 or 2 friends at a time. I feel like your dad may have loved you more than you think. My dad was a quiet man and did not talk that much. Who knows what he wanted; he was unable to make choices after his death. Satan is out to destroy everyone in his path. The thoughts that you are having... I feel like are coming from him. You yourself know that you are a good person.. so don't let what someone else has said upset you. Try not to dwell on it. Okay to let it slip in.. but try to push it aside. Don't let it ruin your day. You are unique and the way God made you. In my prayers. Hugs, Janie

Heather said...

You are a beautiful person inside and out Lisa and it's too bad that you father could not see that. I didn't have the most loving father either and he was rather critical/abusive too what it feels like not to be good enough. I've gotten to the point that I feel as though I'm a stronger person for having gone through life with a father who couldn't be bothered with me unless he was in the mood. Now that he's older he is reaching out to me like crazy, I think because he's scared and feeling lonely...maybe even full of regrets. Keep your chin up girl and keep being the wonderful person that you are!