Sunday, April 6, 2008

Turning To My Fate

Hi friends, thank you to Emmi for the beautiful tag above, I've been doing alot of praying and soul -searching this weekend.I feel sad for my dad that his life may soon be ending, but at the same time I pity him too for being so full of anger and hate towards others.I wonder if even now if he knows he will be facing death if he will try to turn over a new leaf but I doubt it.He is who he is and I am who I am.I feel sorry for my brother Derek who is in touch with my dad and will probably get screwed over one more time by my dad when he does pass away.My dad is great for empty promises and bullshit lies.I am certain he put his new wife's two children before my brother in his will, that would be just like him, putting non relatives above blood relatives, sigh ............ anyhow sorry if this entry is depressing, My heart is a little heavy this weekend, I will pray to God for strength and try my best to get through this week and every week after that.I am also praying that Melissa will soon be out the door at our work and that last time I saw her with the police will be the last time I ever see her, I just want a new manager and a kind person to work under, I know there will never be another Anthony, but someone close to him.Thank you for listening, I Love You All Lisa XOXO

20 comments:

imgr8phil said...

Just hang in there Lisa.  I know you have been through a lot because of this man.  Nothing has changed for you.  It is what he has to deal with now.  Take care.

Phil

hugsdoodlewacky said...

((((((((((((((((((((((((LISA)))))))))))))))))))))))Just know I am hear for you.We all care.

therealslimemmy said...

lisa hugs sending your way.
emily

onehenn3chicks said...

Maybe one way to deal with it all is to write your dad a letter completely saying what you want and how you feel.  Send him it to him and wash your hands of it all.  :-(


Amy

cacklinrosie101 said...

Hang in there, Lisa.  I know you will come to terms with this.  Hope you have a peaceful week at work.  HUGS Chris

cuteallison1980 said...

I feel bad for you Lisa having had to have a life without a caring father.  That is something that I have had and it saddens me that you haven't.  Just be the best person you can be sweetie and don't allow yourself to get depressed OK?  Luv ya!

Allison

lanurseprn said...

Lisa...I'm not kidding when I say we had similar fathers. It's unreal when I read your journal it's like I could be writing it. One thing I will say is that I hope that if you decide not to contact your father that you don't regret it later on.  Just think about it.
Pam

bojgill4375 said...

It is hard when someone that should love us treats us mean. Heart breaking. We can not control their free will and most of the time the Lord will not either. If he does change before he passes on... then I feel like the Lord had something to do with it. Keeping you in my prayers. Hugs, Janie

bojgill4375 said...

I feel like sometimes we have to be down as low as we can get before we can look up to God. Hugs, Janie

dca721 said...

Hi Lisa,
I love your graphics.
And you too.
XO
Donna

queeniemart said...

Sending big hugs to you today and hopeing you feel better. Love you.

nay0114 said...

Still not getting your alerts.. like I told you before sorry about your dad, karma comes around you know. That's why you need to watch how you decide to live your life.
Take care and Hugs, Chrissie

eml625 said...

Sending lots of love and prayers for you to get through this rough time.
hugs,
Ellen

motoxmom72 said...

Awwwww.....BIG HUGS to you at this time.........

~Gina

markonit said...

... my heart aches for you at this time ... be well and you are in my thoughts ..!

hbound4 said...

What is with the manger being with the police? Did you say something about that b/f, I know you said she was suspended and not coming to work for a week but did I miss this?
Sorry you are feeling down a feeling many of us know only to well.
It would be nice if you could make peace with you Dad b/f he goes. I am not saying be a door mat but just so you know you did what you needed to do b/f he is gone. No second guessing yourself. Does that make sense? Funny how I hear the story more and more here latley how the dad or mom puts the "new" kids in front of his "real" children.
Hugs feel better today.
Sharon

momiscool2 said...

Hi Lisa,

Big hugs for you!!!!!

What ever you decide to do - I'm with you a 100 percent.

I know how hurt you are with what he has done in the past. And I'm so sorry you are hurting now. You don't deserve that.
You are one of the kindest sweetest people I have ever met (well online so far == maybe in person one day) and I think what ever you decide - you will be making the right decision.

Hang in there sweetie.

I love you!

Michelle

bmorrrick said...

Hi Lisa,

I'm so sorry you have had to deal with such rough things in your life.  I hope by the time you read this you're feeling better.  I wasn't getting your alerts and came to check on you.

Take Care,
~Bilinda~

stetsonsfyre said...

((((((((((((Lisa)))))))))))) Things will be better for you hon...I understand the thing about your dad (I think you realize it too) the thing with me was my mother putting all her husbands ahead of her 2 kids.  Hugz* Teresa

rgossett4195 said...

Lisa, You have had a lot to deal with my friend.  You are right to give it to God He will fix everything all in His time.  Love you! rose