Monday, July 24, 2006

Two Weeks Missing Tommorow

Hi friends, I have alot on my mind tonight.Tommorow is my loser father's birthday but I'm going to do the best I can not to think about him .I'm going to put him out of my mind like he has done to me all my life .It's really sad that my father has to be so greedy and cold-hearted but I have to accept the fact he's never going to change so I have to just move on with my life.I have a warped sense of self which is probably a consequence of having the father I did.He never did anything to make me feel special or loved as a child , if anything I felt like a big nuisance or I got the impression he did'nt want to be bothered with me.I caught on fast.I was humiliated by him and constantly made fun of because of my A.D.D. I learned how to withdraw and hold my feelings inside.I often wonder why God gave me the father I have.I often wonder why I was'nt given a father who thought the world of me or adored me.I am really pissed off at Anthony, maybe he is'nt so great after all.Wow I never thought I would be saying these words, after all I adored him.My mom accused me of putting him on a pedestol which I did.I feel let down because every single time he asked me for a favor never once did I tell him 'No" I feel used , kind of.Tommorow it will be two weeks since Kay has gone missing.The police just do'nt seem to care at all.They just shrug thier shoulders and say "Well she's over 18" How sad !!!!!!! I guess I had better hope I never go missing because I guess nobody will bother finding me.I am feeling sad and self-destructive tonight.Hopefully tommorow will be better, I love you all Lisa XO


queeniemart said...

oh Lisa...

first off, i know you are hurt by Anthony. I kept thinking that you even gave the dude a bday present and he was a snot anyway. Maybe you can try just treating him like everyone else and NOT being so sweet and caring. See how he likes that.

I am concerned for the missing girl.....i cant believe the police dont care.
As for your dad..he will get whats coming to him....he DID love you Lisa...but this man obviously has some AWFUL issues within himself and he projected them onto YOU. You are unique, beautiful and loving with a HUGE gentle soul...and someone a man will see that.

chat2missie said...

She's missing 2 weeks already.......shame.

siennastarr said... are not the only one who grew up with a father who didn't care.  I did.. and so did my daughter.  I've learned to live with it, but it bothers my daughter.. alot.  There are so many kids out there who have father's like that, and even mothers!  It is a shame.  But, you have grown into a caring, loving young woman, and that's what's important.

Take Anthony down off his pedastal, darlin'.  NO man deserves to be on one of those.  It just isn't right.