Sunday, June 18, 2006

Father's Day, just another day

hi friends, as some of you know I have'nt spoken or seen my dad in about three years.I almost wish I could have worked today so my mind would'nt have to think about him.He has never treated me with any respect or shown me that I matter at all to him.I have always, always felt second best in his eyes no matter what.Does it hurt me inside? Does I feel incredably let down and sad ? Does my self-esteem suffer because of that? You bet !!!!!!!!!!!!! In a perfect world I would have been blessed with a dad who cared about me and adored me.We would have a really close bond and be able to talk about anything and I would feel lucky someone loved me so much.Sadly it's not a perfect world and that is'nt the case.The last time we spoke my bed frame had cracked and I had called him and asked him if he could loan me money for a new bed.He refused and made up stupid excuses although he has more money then I can ever dream of having.So to this day my bed consists of two matresses on the floor, yes folks you heard it right, that's my bed !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I ca'nt help but question his new wife's motives for rushing to marry him.I have seen in a short time how greedy and maniputive this woman is, looking out for herself of course and her own children, never mind the fact my father had three blood children of his own, which consist of me ,Anthony 25, and Derek, 19.I think the real reason Kathy jumped the gun to marry my dad was because she knew that if something ever happened to him , he would leave everything to her and her children.And knowing my father the way he operates he probably will.It makes me feel sick inside, it really does.My grandpa , my dad's father in 1992 he met Donna at a golf-course, they never married but were together until he died in 2001.Donna seemed ok at first but then I started to see her true colors.She was looking out for herself and her daughter Sue.She became the executer of my grandpa's will , I think she caught him in a weak moment and threatened him that if he did'nt make her in charge of his will she would'nt take care of him anymore and he would have to live in a nursing home which he feared greatly.So anyhow Donna took over Gramp's will even though she was'nt family or even married to him.I found myself not liking Donna much , she seemed really phony to me and it's turns out I was right.So on Christmas Eve in 2001 we got a call that Gramps had died and not too long after that I found out that Donna had cut me and my brother's out of Gramp's will with my dad 's blessing.I just could'nt believe it !!!!!!!!!!!! It just took my breath away but yeah she did.A year after that I heard Donna remarried again and is probably looking for her next mealticket.Amazing huh ? Anyhow I feel a headache coming on, Thanks for listening to me rant, Love You All Lisa

1 comment:

siennastarr said...

I think there are an awful lot of us out there who didn't have very good relationships with our fathers.  It's such a sad sad thing...